Rocket Science

…and I dislike driving to/from LAX while in L.A. …

Source: Brandon/United.com

But this is ridiculous!

United’s now offering unlimited domestic upgrades for its frequent flyers, matching programs in place with Delta, Continental and US Airways. It probably means they’ll be getting rid of the 500 mile upgrade certificates that they had been using ever since I’ve been a member of their Mileage Plus program.

Originally I thought this was a great idea, but as I write this, I wonder what the downside is…

Source: Brandon/United Airlines

United Upgrade Benefits Chart

So, as you know by now, I travel quite a bit, and try and fly United when I can.

One step forward two steps back.

It looks like United has finally implemented a digital in-flight media system. From the mid-1990s through late-2008 they typically used a tape-based system (it looked like Hi8 or maybe some other 8mm format tape) that required manual operation by the flight attendants. The new system appears to work in a nearly automated fashion. The purser/flight attendant enters an access code, the duration of the flight, and the system takes over. I’ve wondered why, as other airlines have moved to on-demand systems and integration with new technologies such as USB ports at seats, the ability to play iPods via entertainment systems, why United has taken so long to adopt these “new fangle technologies”.

Things aren’t all peachy. The problems with fully automated systems…

Photo Credit: vividhsiddha

Well, at least it's open source

It’s more of a, “Push the button and hope for the best.”

“Restart” If the system needs to be restarted, it has to start over at the beginning. On a flight in June, someone noticed that the wrong movie was playing. Apparently the purser selected the wrong programming (they were going to show the westbound programming on an eastbound flight—which means I’d have to watch the same movie over again, it wasn’t that good the first time through). The purser reset the system, but we had to watch the lead in short feature before the movie, even though the prior programming was queued up to the movie.

“Commericals” The system automatically inserts commercials in the short features and movies. For TV shows, this isn’t so bad, they’re designed with commercials and are intended to have interruptions. For movies, the system seems to pick bad times to insert the commercials. The commercials don’t seem to be programmed in, but inserted randomly. So if there’s a dramatic moment, or a action sequence, expect a commercial to interrupt the flow of the movie. By contrast when movies are played on TV, the broadcasters usually do a much better job of breaking up the flow of the movie. Or perhaps United needs to pay someone more money to select better spots for its commercials. Now that I think about it, hey, what are “commercials” doing in the middle of a movie. that’s new too! =(

/sigh

After successfully circumnavigating the globe, and having my checked luggage make it with me through India, Thailand, Japan and to Vancouver… United managed to leave one of my checked bags in Chicago. Thanks, United.

I’d be very disappointed to know if this was an issue of weight–that is, they left at least 10 bags off of the flight because of the weight.

Ok, I don’t want them to fly in an unsafe manner, but…

• Don’t leave First Class passenger’s luggage off of the flight.
• Don’t leave Mileage Plus Premier Executive or greater passenger’s luggage off of the flight–there has to be some value for membership.
• Don’t just forget to load one baggage container.

So at least three passengers from Vancouver had one or more bags left in Chicago, as did at least five others. They’re on the next flight.

But if they were left off to save weight, how do I get compensated for my time and inconvenience (since I paid to have them fly with me, and they’re supposed to fly with me because of TSA rules, or so I thought). Here’s my math:

• .5 hour = time spent waiting to see if the bag showed up at baggage claim, and waiting in line at the baggage office = $75
• 4 hours = delivery window from 6am to 10am for the bag to be delivered = $600 (I’ll use the delivery window, instead of the total time without the bag, and the fact that my electric razor was in that bag)

I’d like a $675 flight credit — if the bag even shows tomorrow morning. Thank you.

Update: I received my bag at 10:18am. Ok so that’s close enough to 10am. However, when I called in to see if they were going to deliver the bag this morning, the representative from United said I was called at 7:15 am. Um, unless AT&T barfed again on my iPhone, no I never received a phone call. So, call it 50/50 if the delivery company or United was lying.

I’m here to pick up trash

–United Airlines Flight Attendant

Silly me, I bought the line that…

“Flight attendants are primarily there for your safety.”

–United Airlines Pilot

(From a conversation on United Airlines 474, SFO to YVR, August 10, 2009.)